Smoke and mirrors, masks and walls.
Most of humanity finds comfort knowing that who they really are will never be known. They are comfortable knowing that the odd little quirks in their minds will not become public. They are happy knowing that they will live life as someone else.
Why are people so afraid of themselves?
One idea I have tossed around in my head is that these phony existences act like a skin, which can be shedded based on experience and on situation. People can toss on the skin of which best suits their current situation, when it is marred, it can be tossed aside. This may leave the main gooey center relatively unscathed. The trouble is, society is based on networks. In order for this to function, one “node” must be able to recognize or “know” another to communicate. When the skin is shedded, it must be replaced by something different. This leads to a continuous confusion and many problems will occur, killing the network.
However, there is another side, when one becomes trapped in the network. They are forced to wear the marred skin in order to survive in the society in which they are trapped in. Each time that skin suffers an attack, it rips, tears and shreds. Since the protection is gone, the gooey core will begin to take a beating, trying desperately to keep up the lost skin. Pretty soon the core will be pierced and will fall apart. At this point some will reach for alternative sources of relief, trying to escape the reality in which they created to escape their real reality, huzzah for circles! Some go for recreational drugs, some alcohol, some sex, some suicide.
I always get a kick out of seeing a moth trying to be a butterfly. I do feel very free to be degrading at times with such similes because it is very much an ugly duckling situation. They look awful trying to be something they are not, when they could be absolutely stunning being what they are. Which in turn leads my to my conclusion.
When you are yourself, you have a single chance in any situation. There is no skin to shed, to mask to drop, no smoke to hide in. All or nothing is the only choice. This type of gamble scares alot of people, especially when it comes to social acceptance. But frankly, I feel a little rejection is thousands of times better then the hell you can go through trying to be something you never can be, no matter how much work you put into it. That center may be gooey, but it’s where the heart is and when you try and kill that, you’ll just end up killing yourself.
Just out of personal experience, I have seen through people that are trying to live behind a lie of a life. When I confronted them, all I saw was fear, fear that someone could see that gooey center like it was exposed to the world. How can people live like that, in absolute fear that someone may see what they really are?
I try to surround myself with people who will not do what I have mentioned above, with those who are genuine and themselves. Closed or open doesn’t matter, extrovert or introvert. They are who they are, and know that I accept them as such, and thank them for being just that. I appreciate and enjoy their company. I hope to the fullest extant that I reciprocate the same aura, the same knowledge that the person they talk with, is in fact, exactly the person they talk with.
